I have always been a family person.
Though I do not have any siblings or uncles or aunts from paternal side, I had one maternal uncle only who doted on me like anything. He was the only uncle I had, who treated me like his own daughter. I was born before him and literally grew before him. He stayed in Mumbai with my grandmother and his wife and I visited my grandmom often during vacations.
His first marriage didn't work out and so he separated from his wife and a very small daughter. I had seen my sister as a baby and had played with her which will not be able to remember now. I was very small when things between them went wrong and I never had the courage to ask what actually happened and why wouldn't I see my kid sister again?
Eventually my maternal uncle got married and brought home a wonderful wife, who was very loving and caring and treated me like her own daughter. I was happy to see my uncle settled now with someone who would be with him all his life. I visited them often and bonded very well with my aunt. My brother was born within a year and my joy knew no bounds. I fed him food, gave him a bath, dressed him up, sang for him, danced for him, protected him from his mom's wrath and was there with him for almost all important occassions of his life. His first day in school, his first participation in the school annual gathering, his first win at the competition had me as his support and well wisher. There was an age gap of 16 years between us, but that didn't really seem to matter and I was the one with whom he shared all his school stuff, friend's jokes, anger on his parents for denying him something. I listened to him patiently and tried to give him some words of advice and he listened to me most of the times. I helped him with studies and took his lessons many a times. I took him to Chowpatty to play in the sand and build castles with him.
When I got engaged to Atul, he also bonded well with him and liked to talk to him on various things. I thought it as a one big family and was very happy with the things on my personal front. I got married and moved to Bangalore, but kept contacts with my uncle, aunt and my kid brother. He was no more a kid now, he was in 7th standard, when I moved to Bangalore. I talked to him on phone, sent him gifts on his birthday, which was just 6 days away from Atul's in the month of January. I also talked to my uncle and aunt regularly and sent them flowers on their birthdays and anniversary.
This stopped suddenly and abruptly when my mom told me that aunt put the blame of a missing ornament on my mother and uncle didn't say anything against it. They cut all contacts with me and my mom and I do not know til l date what was my mistake and what I had done that suddenly things changed so drastically. My grandmother was saddest of all as both her kids were not on talking terms with each other and she was suffering every minute and the most. But aunt took good care of her and that was one thing which was satisfactory in all this emotional upheaveal. She kept me informed about my brother's progress, both academically and emotionally, physically. I was surprised by his sudden coldness towards me. I had never said anything bad to me and my grandmom told me that he never ever mentioned me or inquired about me. I sent him some gift on his birthday for which he didn't even call me to say that he liked it. He was small that time.
Now after 5 years, I happened to see him on the social networking site, Facebook and sent him a friend's request. I thought of renewing the contacts with him as I did not have anything against him. I wanted to be his elder sister, which I was and help him in case he needed any help. I waited for many days, but he didn't accept my request. I had his mobile number, I messaged him on his birthday and also asked him to approve the friend request. He again played it cool. Then to finally break the ice between us, I asked him if he is not interested to accept my friend request and he said it very indifferently that he is not interested and that I shouldn't send him any friend request in future. I was shocked to see this and hadn't expected it from him of all the people. I was numb for many days and was quite hurt. But then I had to move on. I blessed him and wished him luck in all his future endeavors and never ever tried to contact him again.
Also, my sister, who was estranged from my uncle was on the Facebook and I tried talking to her. I explained her the background and that I would like to be her friend. She didn't remember me at all and did not show any interest in getting back in touch. I followed up with her for almost a month and realized that I am banging the wrong door. I gave up on her too.
I had lost her for no fault of her and mine and I tried to make up for all those years which we both lost, but then she couldn't understand my sentiments behind it and she was also right in her position, I thought. Why would she talk to her sister who was related to her father's side and rebuild the relations which were cut long ago? I wished her luck and moved on. She never got in touch with me again.
I had lost my brother again for no fault of his or mine and I tried to make up because I was elder to him and loved him a lot and wanted to be with him in his formative years and guide him. Was I being selfish in this? No, but then it was just not meant to be I thought and left it at that very moment. I will continue wishing good for my brother and sister and wish them all the luck in their lives.
I happened to read a book in which the question running in my head for all these months. Why did this happen and a bond so strong, based on love and affection just wither away like this due to some misunderstanding on the part of our elders? The answer to it was that some relations are destined to travel together only for a certain time and once the give and take of that relationship is over, the relationship ceases to exist. So, now when I think of my relationship with my sister and brother, we had only so much to give each other and be in each other's company and that's it. I now have come a long way to believe it and do not regard the breaking of my relationship with my siblings with remorse anymore. It was destined to be and my place would be filled by someone else in their life and my life would be filled with someone who would call me tai and love me and respect me.
Someone's loss is someone else's gain!
Medhavi and Kiran - Wish you all the happiness in this world and do your best in everything you take up!
Though I do not have any siblings or uncles or aunts from paternal side, I had one maternal uncle only who doted on me like anything. He was the only uncle I had, who treated me like his own daughter. I was born before him and literally grew before him. He stayed in Mumbai with my grandmother and his wife and I visited my grandmom often during vacations.
His first marriage didn't work out and so he separated from his wife and a very small daughter. I had seen my sister as a baby and had played with her which will not be able to remember now. I was very small when things between them went wrong and I never had the courage to ask what actually happened and why wouldn't I see my kid sister again?
Eventually my maternal uncle got married and brought home a wonderful wife, who was very loving and caring and treated me like her own daughter. I was happy to see my uncle settled now with someone who would be with him all his life. I visited them often and bonded very well with my aunt. My brother was born within a year and my joy knew no bounds. I fed him food, gave him a bath, dressed him up, sang for him, danced for him, protected him from his mom's wrath and was there with him for almost all important occassions of his life. His first day in school, his first participation in the school annual gathering, his first win at the competition had me as his support and well wisher. There was an age gap of 16 years between us, but that didn't really seem to matter and I was the one with whom he shared all his school stuff, friend's jokes, anger on his parents for denying him something. I listened to him patiently and tried to give him some words of advice and he listened to me most of the times. I helped him with studies and took his lessons many a times. I took him to Chowpatty to play in the sand and build castles with him.
When I got engaged to Atul, he also bonded well with him and liked to talk to him on various things. I thought it as a one big family and was very happy with the things on my personal front. I got married and moved to Bangalore, but kept contacts with my uncle, aunt and my kid brother. He was no more a kid now, he was in 7th standard, when I moved to Bangalore. I talked to him on phone, sent him gifts on his birthday, which was just 6 days away from Atul's in the month of January. I also talked to my uncle and aunt regularly and sent them flowers on their birthdays and anniversary.
This stopped suddenly and abruptly when my mom told me that aunt put the blame of a missing ornament on my mother and uncle didn't say anything against it. They cut all contacts with me and my mom and I do not know til l date what was my mistake and what I had done that suddenly things changed so drastically. My grandmother was saddest of all as both her kids were not on talking terms with each other and she was suffering every minute and the most. But aunt took good care of her and that was one thing which was satisfactory in all this emotional upheaveal. She kept me informed about my brother's progress, both academically and emotionally, physically. I was surprised by his sudden coldness towards me. I had never said anything bad to me and my grandmom told me that he never ever mentioned me or inquired about me. I sent him some gift on his birthday for which he didn't even call me to say that he liked it. He was small that time.
Now after 5 years, I happened to see him on the social networking site, Facebook and sent him a friend's request. I thought of renewing the contacts with him as I did not have anything against him. I wanted to be his elder sister, which I was and help him in case he needed any help. I waited for many days, but he didn't accept my request. I had his mobile number, I messaged him on his birthday and also asked him to approve the friend request. He again played it cool. Then to finally break the ice between us, I asked him if he is not interested to accept my friend request and he said it very indifferently that he is not interested and that I shouldn't send him any friend request in future. I was shocked to see this and hadn't expected it from him of all the people. I was numb for many days and was quite hurt. But then I had to move on. I blessed him and wished him luck in all his future endeavors and never ever tried to contact him again.
Also, my sister, who was estranged from my uncle was on the Facebook and I tried talking to her. I explained her the background and that I would like to be her friend. She didn't remember me at all and did not show any interest in getting back in touch. I followed up with her for almost a month and realized that I am banging the wrong door. I gave up on her too.
I had lost her for no fault of her and mine and I tried to make up for all those years which we both lost, but then she couldn't understand my sentiments behind it and she was also right in her position, I thought. Why would she talk to her sister who was related to her father's side and rebuild the relations which were cut long ago? I wished her luck and moved on. She never got in touch with me again.
I had lost my brother again for no fault of his or mine and I tried to make up because I was elder to him and loved him a lot and wanted to be with him in his formative years and guide him. Was I being selfish in this? No, but then it was just not meant to be I thought and left it at that very moment. I will continue wishing good for my brother and sister and wish them all the luck in their lives.
I happened to read a book in which the question running in my head for all these months. Why did this happen and a bond so strong, based on love and affection just wither away like this due to some misunderstanding on the part of our elders? The answer to it was that some relations are destined to travel together only for a certain time and once the give and take of that relationship is over, the relationship ceases to exist. So, now when I think of my relationship with my sister and brother, we had only so much to give each other and be in each other's company and that's it. I now have come a long way to believe it and do not regard the breaking of my relationship with my siblings with remorse anymore. It was destined to be and my place would be filled by someone else in their life and my life would be filled with someone who would call me tai and love me and respect me.
Someone's loss is someone else's gain!
Medhavi and Kiran - Wish you all the happiness in this world and do your best in everything you take up!
