Unrequited

Paulo Coelho has said in some book of his. There is always a reason for meeting people in our life. There is some giving, taking, sharing, learning which happens when we meet someone. There is give and take of love, information, ideas etc. There is definitely a purpose behind this “destined” meeting. Philosophy fascinates me very much and I try to find the things which I read in the daily life and then try to analyze. One such true incident gave me enough proof that there is always something very fascinating and deep hidden in this event of meeting people.

People meet each other in many different ways, but stranger are the ways how they become buddies and stick out with each other and try to help each other out in any problem. Being always there matters and that was essence of Sanjeevani’s and Pushkar’s friendship. Sanjeevani is an average girl, married since some years now, is away from her family and friends and she tries to make some friends here, in the city of gardens so that she has someone to talk to about things that fancy her and which are close to her heart. Sanjeevani met Pushkar in her office and they clicked almost instantaneously and felt as if they were meeting after a gap of many years. It was like long lost friends catching up with the lost time.

Pushkar is originally from Maharashtra, now in Bangalore since past 3 years. He is working on a good position and is a very happy go lucky person. He loves enjoying all the possible things in life and he is always energized and charged up. He likes to cook, play badminton, watch movies and go on trekking. He lived alone in a small apartment and did the cooking, cleaning, maintaining the house all by himself. He likes to do all the household sundries and has no hang ups about anything in life. He is always cheerful, confident and ready to take anything and everything in his stride. He is a very good listener, counselor and he wants people around him to always be happy. In all, he is a very positive person and a true gem of a person.

Opposite to him is Sanjeevani. She is sad about the pace of her personal life, is constantly sulking, complaining, depressive, cries at the drop of a hat and thinks she alone is the sufferer of many a things in life and that she deserved something better and would like to end her miserable life. She is over-matured as compared to her age and believes there is no thing called love in this world and smile hasn’t visited her since many days. Due to this repetitive boring attitude of hers towards life, she had almost lost on the originality and innocence she had. She never tried to come out of this phase and lived in a shell of hers, where everything was dark, gory and sad and believed this was the wrong time that she took birth on this earth and in this era. In short, she was a completely negative person, but very good at heart. She was a good listener too and friendship for her was something which gave her relief from her dull and boring life.

How on earth would these two people like each other and how could they become great buddies? But just as it is said, opposites attract, I think the same happened between them and they shared all things going in their lives. Rather, it was Sanjeevani who did most of the talking and Pushkar did the listening part. There was certain warmth and some charm in her, which attracted him to her. Her child like innocence and the view which she had of the world was so very different than the matured and independent ladies of today. There was something very queer about her, which made him feel angry about her sadistic attitude towards life. He also genuinely cared for her and wished to take her out from this phase. He had started to take a liking for her and his day didn’t start without talking to Sanjeevani. He wanted to know everything that happened in that particular day when both of them were not interacting! Sanjeevani also looked forward to sessions where they discussed her work, her personal life, her likes, dislikes, her passions, her dreams, and her longing to attract some attention of her workaholic and practical husband. She was caught in some kind of rut, where she and her husband were not able to understand each other and there were differences and they were growing apart and cold day by day.

Pushkar always listened to one side of Sanjeevani’s story. He never got to meet or interact with her husband and he was not able to understand why her husband is so different from 10 other people and why can’t he behave normally with such a cute and sweet girl like Sanjeevani. Sanjeevani was also not a perfect human being. No one is, but as Sanjeevani was his best friend, he tried his best to help her, protect her and bring her out from this lopsided life of hers. They always spoke about Sanjeevani’s life, but nothing much about Pushkar’s life as if there was no existence of his beyond her and without her. It was as if Sanjeevani was his personal responsibility and keeping her happy and cheerful was his part of job which he did very sportingly.

Perhaps this is what they call love and Pushkar was unaware of all this going in his life. He had no thoughts other than her; he literally breathed her, thought her, slowly got involved in her and though he knew this was not going to take him anywhere or bring him anything, he expressed his love towards her. Sanjeevani was well aware of what was going on in his mind, because she trusted him so much that she started reading his thoughts. Sanjeevani had found a soul mate in Pushkar and she was very sure that if she was single, she would have definitely loved to spend her entire life with Pushkar. It was a very soothing thing for her to know that someone loves her inspite of all her idiosyncrasies. But she also knew her boundaries and knew that she can’t leave her present life and husband and she also knew that life is always full of adjustments. Friends who turn into life partner undergo a total change and “expectations” stick to their skins. She was not sure, if Pushkar would also have undergone the same change as 100 others do, but she was quite sure that the scene with him would have been quite different.

What all would Pushkar not do for her in case they were together?

He would always keep on calling on her, pampering her, praising her, being around her to protect her from any misery, sadness, pain. He would stand against all odds and be her friend to lend her a shoulder to cry on, philosopher to help her overcome anxiety and fear, a guide to show her the path to happiness and cheerfulness, a mother when she would be down. He would miss her the moment she was away from him and would always, rather all the time think of her and her happiness. He would give her the best and always be proud of having such an intelligent, caring, but a bit disillusioned her by his side. He would accept her just as she is with all her shortcomings, her flaws, her faults and always bank on the good things she has. He would nurse her wounds and heal them with his jokes and tales and would make her sleep singing a favorite song of hers.

Sanjeevani knew, Pushkar would do all this for her, but she was not married to him, but someone else whom she thought she knew, but things turned out to be completely different for both of them. She made it clear to Pushkar that it will not be possible for her to give him anything in return for his limitless love and affection. Pushkar was ok with it. He took all this pain in his stride, which was very much his characteristic and said smiling:

Pushkar: It is ok, Sanjeevani. It is not less that we at least met. It is entirely my problem that I like you so much and want to be with you all the time.

Sanjeevani: But, Pushkar, how can you live like this? How long will this go on?

Pushkar: What? Love is even after death is what I have heard, but this life-time will be spent on you and I have no issues, really! You don’t have to do anything about it other than just being with me just as you are, talking and sharing all things.

There was a time when Sanjeevani voiced out the desire to walk out of her married life as it was increasingly getting difficult for her to cope emotionally. The differences were so huge that even their parents knew about their estranged relationship. At that time, Pushkar had expressed his wish to get married to her and be with her all his life. But Sanjeevani refused, she was not sure of what she really wanted and asked him to carry on with his life. She always wished someone better for him. He deserved a much more dynamic, intelligent and emotionally stable girl.

In the meanwhile, Pushkar got married and they lost touch with each other due to some petty quarrel. But Pushkar made it up and started talking to her again. By this time, Sanjeevani was out of her sad mood and had found a new meaning for herself in whatever she did. She stopped being fussy, irritable, sulky, sullen, self pitying and had started finding happiness in every small thing. She had stopped bothering about her impossible husband, rather she had given up on him completely and instead of brooding over him and her life, she lashed out on the problem very violently and chucked tears, sadness, and depression out of her life.

Pushkar was very delighted to see Sanjeevani, who underwent quite a change in his absence. Maybe that was also one of the factor that Sanjeevani decided to be strong and happy as Pushkar was not around to listen to sad and boring tales. Sanjeevani almost believed that she had lost a dear friend for life. But what is friendship and love without its ups and downs, without its after-effects? He liked Sanjeevani in her revamped form, where she was very happy and cheerful just as he had always wanted her to be in every walk of life. He believed life is too short to sit brooding and one should live each day as it is his/her last day on the earth.

All is well that ends well, isn’t it? But this story doesn’t end here.

Pushkar still loves Sanjeevani, still misses her in every walk of life and remembers her on every small occasion or event. He knows very well that he has to be loving and caring to his life partner now which he also is, but he also can’t stop loving Sanjeevani just because she is not his wife. He loves his wife but loves Sanjeevani more than her.

Now, is there anything like this you have ever known? Do you think this is possible? I was not aware of such type of love, which is eternal and endures all boundaries of time and space. Can anyone go on loving the other person endlessly and crazily even if he knows that nothing is going to come out of it? Can anyone love someone whom he is never going to be with? Can anyone always pray for the happiness of someone, when he knows quite well that he is not going to be a part of that happiness ever? Can someone have such a big heart? Is there no end to that spring of love, warmth and care whose name is Pushkar? Is there no world where these two people can be together?

Perhaps, in the next birth.

Perhaps, never.

Can anyone love someone in this way? Can anyone be so much involved in someone like this? Is this madness, craziness or just another form of pure, passionate and undemanding love?

But this is the very essence of true love, isn’t it?

Undemanding yet fulfilling.

Not expecting, but yet giving away everything.

Being always there no matter what.

Being away and far, yet being so very near and being dear

People come in all shapes and sizes, but this is 1

God sent angel!