Someone has said, "The world's happiest friends never have the "SAME" characters… They just have the best understanding of their differences." How true is this sentiment! When I look around and give a thought to the list of my really close friends, not one of them is like me or behaves like me. It is just that we have some commonalities somewhere and that has binded into an eternal bond, which is stronger than anything else.
Koustubh, Sudhir and I met at HP. All of us had left our homes back and had come to Bangalore to eke out a living. Being the speakers of the same mother tongue, we gelled with each other so well that it was as if meeting some long lost friends again. Sudhir is the youngest of us and most pampered. He likes to be in sync with the on-going trends and wants the best in his life. He acts as if he is our grandfather, all the time giving us lectures on enjoying life, enjoying today etc. He is well read, diligent and has come up a long way in his life. He is crazy for movies, songs, books, and clothes. In short, he is the one likes to be appreciated and recognized.
Koustubh is more-laid back, serious kind of person when compared with Sudhir. But once the trio gets together, it is heaps of laughter, shouting, cheering, criticizing etc. We meet once/twice a month and in that meeting we have to say so many things to each other that we fight amongst ourselves as to who will narrate first and what he/she has gone through in the days we hadn't met. Koustubh and I discourage Sudhir from shopping incessantly. Being elder to him in experience and age, we have a lot of instructions to give him. He gets very irritated at times and just wants us to shut our mouths. Koustubh and Sudhir have petty fights just for the sake of it and they do not allow each other to speak a word less. I have fun listening them fight like kids and really enjoy because I know there is love behind all this and we three are like those huge rocks in each other lives which will never wash away or break away with time and tide.
I was thinking of what to gift Koustubh on his birthday as it was the very first time we were going to celebrate his birthday together in the last 3.5 yrs that we know each other. As I have gotten into a habit of reading books, thanks to my shuttle friend John, I thought of gifting him a nice book that would be interesting to him and that would give him some change, some adventure in the monotonous office-home-office routine. I took John's help in this, because he is the one who has read books 10 times of his age or even more I guess! We went to Sapna book house and selected a nice best seller for him. I love gifting greeting cards and also accept them as gifts. So selected that for him and a movie VCD that would be with him all his life as a remembrance of our friendship! With all these gifts, we reached the venue where we were supposed to meet each other for dinner. Sudhir joined us straight from office and I went home, got fresh and drove down to the venue.
The venue was "the Beach" restaurant. We had been there earlier in the last year for dinner and had loved the ambiance and the food. It was a quiet small place with real sand in between the sit outs and the bartenders are dressed in flashy, flowery clothes to give a feel of the beach. The restaurant is painted blue, has paintings of the waves on the wall. In short you feel as if you are relaxing on a beach and enjoying food.
But, that day was a big disappointment for me.
It was a Wednesday night, ladies night, where there are free drinks for the ladies. We reached there around 8:30 and it was not yet crowded. We waited for Koustubh to join us and slowly people started coming in. We had to change our seats thrice as it was leaking and Sudhir was ready to show his Pune style of getting things done, but thankfully we got a decent seat. Till we could order something, the lights went out.
Blaring music started thumping the grounds. All over the place, I could see ladies smoking and drinking very easily as if it is just like normal breathing for them. The guts of women who smoked when I was in college amazed me, but now I really become very sad in seeing such ladies. What do these women think they achieve when they smoke and drink? Do they think they are equals of men in all respects and they have full rights to act and behave like men? What are they gaining with this temporary lift up of mood? How can one enjoy the cause of so many deaths in such a non-ashamed way? What runs in their minds? Are there no better ways to release the stress in life?
Nowadays, our lives have become very stressful. We are all the time running after money, goals, status, and recognition. To be accepted as a part of the peer group, in order to be counted as one amongst the rat race, some people do and act like others. Just to show off, how modern and outstanding they are and how good can they enjoy their lives, they take to drinking and smoking. My friend, who was a chain smoker used to justify his smoking by saying that it is a occupational hazard and just because his colleagues smoke, he also "has" to smoke. People have a rosy picture to paint of their death that arrives with a silent note. But, people are oblivious of any future and want to enjoy their today. Fast paced life has taken a toll on our health, personal life. And many have turned to these vices for chilling out and releasing the vent up emotions of stress.
All these thoughts were breaking my head and on the other side loud music and clouds of smoke, smell of food, beer, alcohol all mixed up was creating a bit of uneasiness in me. In some time, everybody from the other tables started dancing. Some were at their tables, some in the sand which was near to the DJ work station and I saw a few people who had closed their eyes, had cigarette in one hand and a beer bottle in the other and were just swaying on the music beats as if they were in some trance and were no longer connected to the human world. I was shocked for a moment, is this what you call life, is this what you earn for, is this what our elders have set before us? Is this what they call the in-thing and cool thing to do? Is this what our culture is? Is this what we call globalization is?
Nevertheless, everybody has the right to live his or her life in the way he/she likes. People earn money and would like to spend it in whatever gives them happiness. This is definitely not my definition of enjoying and being happy and that was the reason I felt so out of place on that day. I felt very stupid of not having been able to connect with whatever was going on the dance floor and the couples and groups sitting around us. Ours was the only table which was very normal and not in air and behaving crankily.
What craze people have for loud music? I haven't been able to understand it yet. I am a music lover, but my taste is completely different and I do not quite enjoy loud and thumping music. I am a lover of soft, melodious tunes and they transfer me to a different world altogether. I think it is the same for the people who enjoy thundering music. They get relieved of their tensions, stress, discomfort etc. and I feel they want to shy themselves away from reality and so they resort to loud music where they won't be even reading own thoughts and mind. It is a gate to shut them up in a very different world, which will give them that happiness which they have been always searching for in their lives. This thought of living for the day really amazes me. I am always looking forward to the future, but that doesn't mean that I do not enjoy my present. It is said that today is a present and you have to accept and live it as a present. Tomorrow is a surprise for which one has to be ready. How one spends and enjoys his/her present is a matter of personal choice.
The pace at which we are running in the rat race is so alarming that sometimes I fear, what examples are we going to set for the younger generation? Where are those concepts of being well read, observant, and helpful, saving for the future? Are these concepts already extinct? Are we well equipped with whatever we possess to face the fury of future genetic and behavioral problems? Does money bring everything and is a cure for everything? I know, I am thinking too much, but it was just that moment sitting in that great restaurant and watching the scenes around me crossed my mind. I am sure there was not a single person thinking like me in that whole atmosphere of fun and frolic. As, I am not a party animal at all; I couldn't justify any of the actions of the people who came in the restaurant that day. Everybody seemed so relaxed and calm and ready to take on the world. Women have done a lot of progress and I was really zapped by seeing at their progress. It was a handful of the female population there, but it made a great impact on me. I really thank my parents and friends who never gave me such "wonderful" insights into life and made my life worth living for myself and also for others around me. I have far better things to do than waste my life in drinking and smoking.
Most important of all was Koustubh enjoyed his day, his birthday in the office and in the evening with us, his dear friends. He was a bit apprehensive too about the things going on in the restaurant, but we had no choice but to see, observe, eat food and go home. Food was delicious and we all were enjoying it with each other, thinking and contemplating that at least we are together for the evening. I hoped he liked the gift. He would never say it on face even if he didn't like it. Koustubh is that sort of person. He can never say no to anyone and to his loved ones, no way! He was also silently watching other people lost in the puffs of cigarettes, dancing away to popular numbers, oblivious of spilling drinks on the table, ignorant of others around.
This was a side of life to which I was thrown to, out of choice and out of compulsion. Choice, because I chose to attend the dinner party hosted by Koustubh and by compulsion, as I had to be there till we finished our dinners even though I was not feeling very comfortable. All this doesn't mean any offence to Koustubh, his intentions were neat and he hadn't imagined such a halla gulla in the restaurant. That was his special day and we had to make it all the more special by just being there with him, which I believe we did!
I had read somewhere, "Friendship is like just sitting with each other without saying anything and walking away as if it was the best conversation I ever had." Our friendship is beyond all the clichéd friendship tags and things and this insight into life for a night has made these 2 friends of mine all the more precious. When I am with them, I am myself. I am at ease. I do not have to show off anything or prove anything to anyone. It is the best thing that could ever happen to anyone. Being oneself at your natural self and being in peace with yourself.
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