Amruta's story

Some people’s lives are never meant to be straight and tension free. No matter how good they are with others, there is bound to be some void in their lives. Does this void help them to make a better person and live life in an extraordinary way? I feel that the word extraordinary has its roots in the word ordinary itself. If there was no ordinary or common person existing in this world, the potential which this ordinary person had, would have never surfaced in the face of adversity or setback. Sometimes the world around us appears to be a very normal world of normal people living normal circumstances. Everything looks so complete and picturesque when we just look at the superficial level of things. Only when we have seen certain people from near, do we realize that all is not well most of the time. It is only the aerial view of certain things which forces us to think that this world is running smoothly. Everybody has his/her own wars against oneself, society, the workplace, etc. Then who runs this vast business of managing the lives of a billion or I may say, trillion people? Is he/she good at it? Are all the things well managed? Does the so-called god sitting there somewhere in the skies manage it or does the power whom some call as destiny and some call it their inner strength does it? The existence of God is neither proved nor denied. Everybody has their own interpretation about things happening in their lives and when I got to know about Amruta and her story and the struggle she went through, I was forced to think if there is really some God sitting there who is managing this state of affairs or it is just extraordinary courage and strength of an ordinary woman who would never ever live a common life like another next door girl? Amruta was the only child of her parents. She was a bright girl with a pretty oval face and jet black eyes. Her hair was auburn and she always wore a pleasant smile. She was good in studies and also good in extracurricular activities. She participated in singing competitions and she also wrote articles for her school and later became the head girl of her college. She had already made her mind that she was going to do Economics as numbers, theories, and management studies fascinated her a lot. She went to a good college, graduated from it, and was chosen as the best student for that year. Her parents were beaming with pride and were happy that they had prepared their only child for the future and instilled good values in her which would definitely help her to lead a righteous life in the future. Amruta had a few close friends and many acquaintances. She was always cheerful and ready to help people around her in some or other way. She was well aware that with her thirst for knowledge and helpful, cheerful nature, she can make the world around her a better place. She secured a good paying job in a reputed company and she had all the enthusiasm, which a new joiner generally has in his/her first job. She soon became a favorite at her workplace too and her bosses appreciated her for her quick learning and coming up with the learning curve so fast and managing the affairs at the office so well. She was well-read with day-to-day affairs in her field and was also in high spirits when she came to the office. Her smile spread to everyone around her and the day in office was spent with zeal and learning. Amruta learned the things in the office very quickly and managed to climb the ladders of success very easily. She gained confidence with each step she took towards reaching the goals of her life. Slowly, her parents started looking for a suitable groom for her and wanted to see her settled with an understanding and educated life partner. They didn’t have to search for long as a distant relative of theirs brought a good family contact for her and it was best for her, it was what at least her parents and friends thought. The groom was an MBA and worked as an Assistant Manager in a reputed firm. He had a younger brother and his parents were retired from government services. They had a flat in a central suburb of Mumbai and were well settled and well respected in the locality. The groom was a very hardworking, honest, and down to earth person. He valued family and family life a lot and his parents had instilled all the necessary values which had helped to become a good human being. His parents were ready to buy the newlywed couple another flat near to their workplace as it would reduce the traveling time for Amruta and Subhash, her would-be. Amruta was not very keen living in a nuclear family and had always wanted to stay together with her in-laws and brother-in-law. Her brother-in-law was very friendly and built a very good rapport with Amruta soon. She was also happy that she had found a brother in her brother-in-law, which she never had when she was with her parents. She wanted to spend time in understanding her parents-in-law and give them the love of a daughter. She was always good to everyone, she came in contact with. How could she be different to her parents-in-law? The date was fixed and the preparations began. Everybody was very happy and was looking forward to the grand event. Amruta and Subhash wanted a modest wedding and didn’t want to waste a lot of money on the wedding expenses. Both convinced their parents that they would get married amidst a few close friends and relatives and the immediate family and then later they would host a grand reception for the other friends and distant relatives. Their parents didn’t resist much as they were well aware of the huge expenses waiting to be incurred in a metro city. It was not that they didn’t want to spend money on the wedding of their children, but they were modern enough in thinking that this money would be useful to their kids in the future. Relatives were a bit miffed by the simplicity of the wedding of the only daughter of Amruta’s parents, but then relatives also have some or the other thing to complain about. Amruta was sure that people would speak about it for some days and forget it later. No matter what you do, there will be always mouths saying some things or the other. So rather than bothering what people will think about this whole issue, Amruta and her family concentrated on the wedding preparations, which were modest enough, but full of zeal and enthusiasm and good wishes. Subhash’ parents were happy with the way things were shaping up. They took Amruta to get the sacred thread (mangalsutra) and a few other ornaments, which were mandatory for the newlywed daughter-in-law. Amruta was not very fanatic about patterns and designs, so she chose herself a simple yet elegant mangalsutra and a few other accessories to wear on the wedding day. She also chose only 5 saris for the occasion as she knew very well that she would not be wearing very heavy kanjivaram and silks once she resumes office. She chose nice designs, but not very heavy and expensive. She liked to keep it simple and low. Her confidence and cheerful nature would reflect in any attire and she knew it very well. She also carried herself well. She was very happy with the way time was running in her life and she was getting to know Subhash and his family to a great extent. They used to meet after office to talk and understand each other well. They talked about various things, not only how they would spend their lives together, but also about movies, places they would like to visit together, their likes and dislikes. It is very important in any marriage to know the expectations, likes, and dislikes of the partner. Adjusting later becomes easy and doesn’t take much time. Spending a few hours daily and then spending a whole lifetime together makes a lot of difference and they both knew it very well. They were trying their best to let the other person know not only about the good qualities in them, but also the weaknesses and drawbacks. They were putting smiles on each other’s face and they were also dreaming about a lovely and understanding life in the future. No one could imagine what was in store for them in the future. It is sometimes good that we do not get to know what is going to happen in our life, or? It was late at night, around 11:30 pm when the phone rang in Amruta’s house. Everybody had just slept after a tiring day of shopping and preparations for the wedding, which was now only 2 days away. Amruta had some guests at home, which were there to bless their beloved Amruta. Amruta’s father answered the call and it was Subhash’s father on the line. His tone was a worried one and it looked as if someone had dealt him a severe blow and he could just muster the courage for making this last call. Amruta’s father was shaking when he heard his voice and was very worried about Subhash’s father at the same time. What could be the reason that he called so late? Was something wrong? Were they canceling the wedding? Had something happened at their home? Did someone meet with an accident? There were innumerable questions in his head at that time, but he had no courage to ask any of them. Subhash’ father just asked them to come to their house as soon as possible. It should be Amruta, her mom, and her dad only. No one else should crowd the house at this hour. Amruta’s father told this to his wife and Amruta. They quickly dressed up and hurried to Subhash’s house. Amruta could sense that something was definitely wrong. Why would his father call only three of them at this hour? She didn’t say anything as she didn’t want to disturb her parents all the more. They were already very worried and were praying that things should be fine and that everything should be happening as planned. They reached Subhash’s house in half an hour and they rang the bell with trembling hands. Subhash’s father answered the door and ushered them in the living room and asked them to have a seat. He was pale and his face was as white as sheet. He was trembling and his eyes were red. Subhash’s mother sat on the sofa with a listless look and she looked lost somewhere. Subhash’s brother was standing there, but he was mentally not there. He was shaking and sobbing and he didn’t know what to do when he saw Amruta and her parents at these odd hours. Amruta’s father could not bear it longer and he broke the silence. He asked his father, what was the matter and his father looked at them all and said slowly that Subhash is dead. Amruta and her family couldn’t believe their ears and wanted to know more about what exactly had happened. His father took them to his bedroom and showed them Subhash, who was lying peacefully in his bed and his father was saying that he is dead. His father told them that Subhash wanted to rest for sometime after he returned from office and how he didn’t answer his mom when she went to wake him for dinner and how they called the family doctor and how the doctor declared him dead because of a massive heart attack. They couldn’t save him and he was declared dead by the doctor after careful examination. He never had any bad habits, never drank or smoked, or led a sedentary life. He was always active and was careful with his diet and daily walk and exercises and was out of tensions and led a carefree and satisfying life. And he died of a massive heart attack? Was heart attack really related to lifestyle, Amruta was thinking. She looked at Subhash; he was lying on the bed as if he would wake up any moment and ask Amruta the reason for being there at this moment or wake up and tell Amruta that it was only a bad joke and nothing had happened to him. But no, he was not going to wake up ever again. Amruta was devastated. She had met him the last evening and they had just got their honeymoon tickets in hand and they were making all sorts of plans and what all to take to the trip and what all to shop etc. And in a moment, everything was gone. He was gone, the plans were gone. They were not going to get married or spend their lives together. It was not only the end of Subhash’s life but also of Amruta’s dreams of leading a happy and fulfilling life with him. Amruta didn’t know what to do. She wanted to cry, scream, ask Subhash as why did he leave like this without saying a word. Why was she made to suffer all this? What bad had she done to anyone? She had never harmed anyone or even thought ill about any person. Then why was this happening to her? She sank on the sofa in the bedroom and didn’t know what happened next. She regained consciousness and found herself back in her house. The guests were gone and the house bore a sad look with all the preparations being brought down and there was a deadly silence in the house. Amruta’s home wore a deserted look and her mom had already taken ill. Her father was nursing both of them. He couldn’t afford to lose courage at that point in time. He mustered all courage and took care of his wife and daughter. Slowly Amruta got up in her bed. The blow of Subhash’s death slowly made her wince in pain and she cried her heart out that day. No-one stopped her as it was necessary for her to wash her pain in tears and come back to normal. Slowly, Amruta regained her composure, she started eating, going to the office. She had to carry on with the memories of whatever short span they had spent together. She also had her family to take care of. She went back to the office and her colleagues were considerate enough to understand what all she went through. They never asked her about Subhash and she never was sad and unhappy in office. She did her work perfectly and left on time. She visited Subhash’s parents and tried to bring them back to normal. They had lost their elder son, but she tried to become their eldest daughter and used to visit them after office. She used to get the fruits, books to read. She used to cook for them and sometimes had dinner with them. They were happy that at least she had moved on and was not stuck with Subhash and his memories. They never talked about Subhash in front of her and they had carefully put away all the things which would remind her of Subhash. They often cried when she left, but never in front of her. Amruta and Subhash’s parents were trying to show each other that it is ok to move on and that the loss is irreparable, but one has to carry on. Amruta often sat alone in dark at night, when she couldn’t sleep and wondered what it would have been like if they were married and would be with each other now. Her parents thought that this loss was not bad enough because had they been married, she would be a widow. But as this happened before the wedding, it was easier for them to set her life again and get her settled with another decent guy. But they didn’t mention this to her, because they were well aware that this would be too early to press her for getting married and wouldn’t look good in society and amongst relatives and friends. Subhash’s parents had already told them to look for a suitable guy and carry on with the wedding. But they also understood that Amruta would definitely need some time to find someone else who would give her the same care and would protect her and be there for her, just as Subhash would have done. As they say, time is the healer, Amruta’s wounds were getting healed slowly and she was less and less engrossed in Subhash’s thoughts and was her usual self in a span of a year’s time. She never thought of getting married to someone else and now her parents and Subhash’s parents were slowly asking her to give it a thought. She was even afraid to think of the day as all the events would flash in front of her eyes and she would feel terrible of losing someone who was so near and dear to her. She had already suffered it once and was afraid if it could happen again. Her parents assured her that it was not her fault in whatever happened and that Subhash had only this much time with her and that was all she should remember and forget the rest of things. Amruta’s aunt was in the US and she brought a groom for Amruta, who was well settled in the US, was a green card holder, had a nice family background, and had good education and values. Her aunt had already mentioned about Amruta and her wedding fixed with Subhash which never happened and that person was ok with it. His parents didn’t have any problems and the guy came down to meet Amruta and his parents and they both met for 4-5 times before they decided to get married. Subhash’s parents were involved in every step and they thought as if they were marrying off their daughter. They carefully planned out the details of the wedding and gave all assistance, morally and physically to her parents. It was as if she was having 2 sets of parents and they didn’t know what to do and what not to do for her wedding. They were so happy and so excited that they were present for all the rituals and they made every guest comfortable and saw all the proceedings happen in front of their eyes. They personally went on the stage and congratulated the bride and groom and spoke to the people about their feelings for their daughter who would have become their daughter-in-law. They gave her all the ornaments and cash which they had kept aside for her and blessed her for a new beginning in her life and wished her luck and left the place before their eyes moistened. Amruta was in two minds. She had to leave her parents and leave for the US with her husband, Amit in 2 weeks' time and she wanted to go and say a final goodbye to Subhash’s parents as well as she was not sure when she would see them again. But 2 weeks time flew so fast that she couldn’t go personally to meet them. She had so many things to pack, to buy. She had to meet Amit’s relatives, his friends, her office colleagues, and close friends and say goodbye to them. She called Subhash’s parents and thanked them for whatever they did for her from the time they met her and that she would keep in touch with them through emails and phone calls. They wished her all the luck and happiness and wished a happy and fulfilling married life. They would like to see her whenever she came to India and after a brief time, they cut the call with pain in their hearts and tears in their eyes. Amruta flew to Dallas with Amit and was amazed to see the life people led there. She had heard about the US from her friends, seen in movies, but had never got a chance to be here on any assignments. Her life was quickly set into a routine and she managed things well. She cooked, she cleaned, she bought vegetables, she kept things ready for Amit to go to the office. She was always on her toes and was happy with the way things were running in her life. Afternoons, she slept for some time, watched some cookery shows, chatted with her friends, parents, Subhash’s parents and wrote letters to her mom that she was happy and that Amit was a nice fellow and was taking good care of her and that she was enjoying every moment of their married life. Weekends were spent going out for grocery shopping, meeting friends, going to movies or discos, or simply lazing at home. Amit used to be very busy in the office and he kept to himself most of the time. He was not very talkative and laughed less. He was serious types, but very intelligent and sharp. Unknowingly, Amruta thought about the difference between him and Subhash. Subhash was so lively and enthusiastic and wanted to do so many things in life. But Amit was quiet and introverted and used to answer only when asked about things. Amruta warned herself to accept Amit as he is and not compare him with Subhash as it would not lead her anywhere. Big-hearted she was, she slowly got to know Amit better and let him be the way he was. She never interfered with what he was doing and he used to be away after office for a long time. Amruta wanted to visit her friend in the nearby town and Amit was gracious enough to let her go for 2 nights. He said that he would manage on his own and that she should not worry about him. He gave her some money and put her on the tube and gave her the map and asked her to call when she reached her friend’s place. Amruta reached the place without any difficulty and had a ball of a time with her friend, re-connecting with her and laughing at the good old times they had together. Her friend had a 2-year-old daughter and she was an angel. Amruta loved kids and when her friend asked her about her plans of having a baby, she gushed and told her friend that they had not yet consummated their marriage and was waiting for Amit to make the first move. Maybe they should know each other well and then think of coming together, thought Amruta. She didn’t want to rush into things and wanted to take everything very slowly and steadily. After having a nice time with her friend, she rushed back to her home and wanted to see Amit after 2 long days. She missed him and he must have missed her too. She quickly got down from the tube. She got some and chocolates and bought Amit’s favorite pastries from a cake shop. Tonight she would tell Amit, how much she missed him and how much she is waiting to be his arms and that she would like to spend all her life being there for Amit, bringing up his babies, taking care of him. She softly opened the door with the keys and tiptoed in the house. The house was in a mess. Amit must be busy in the office. She better took a quick bath and prepared nice food for Amit and gave him a nice surprise. She opened the door of her bedroom and was aghast. Amit was in their bed with a blonde lady and was talking to her sweet things. The moment Amruta opened the door, they both were astonished and the lady rushed out with whatever she could collect and told Amit that she would call him soon. Amruta caught them red-handed and Amit didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t deny what Amruta saw with her own eyes, nor had the courage to explain anything to her. Amruta felt as if someone had stabbed her back and she felt a pain in her heart. Her head was pounding; something inside was telling her that whatever she saw was not true at all. There has been some misunderstanding. God can be so cruel to her. He took Subhash away from her before even she married him and now she got to know that Amit whom she thought would be her partner in this new phase of life, cheated on her and the reason for not consummating their marriage was his affair with this blonde girl. He was cold towards Amruta for no reason. She could understand now the reason behind that coldness and indifference. All things were now getting clear in her head. Why was Amit in such a hurry to get married and return to America? With whom was he talking on the phone all the time, they had gone out for a honeymoon? What kept me away from the office so long and why was he with a long face at home on weekends? Amit told her that he married her for his parents as they were dead against getting married to an American girl. Amruta was mad with rage and asked him the reason for ruining her life like this. Did he think that he was being a saint in taking a girl in marriage whose first marriage couldn’t materialize? Did he think that she was safe bait and would not protest against her husband being with another woman? Amit was selfish enough to admit that he thought Amruta was dumb and wouldn’t mind his affair with that girl. All she wanted was a security and a husband, which he was ready to become, at least for the society to consider and accept them as a married couple. He threatened her to keep her mouth shut and let him continue his relationship with the American girl. He even tried to gag her and hurt her thinking that she would keep her mouth shut and would allow him to go his clandestine ways. Amruta was not a girl to keep on bearing such injustice and she decided to call it quits. She neither had any money on her nor any saving accounts which she could operate from there. She was totally at the mercy of Amit and Amit spared no chance of insulting her all the time and treating her like shit. He locked her in the house and cut the phone line. Amruta was wondering if education really helped in building and making a cultured and civilized person and whether she would be ever able to see the daylight. Amruta did not lose courage; she didn’t sit crying over whatever happened to her. She knew it was not her fault at all. Amit didn’t deserve a well brought up girl like her and she would not take any nonsense from him like this. Once when Amit was at home, in the bathroom, she managed to sneak away from the house with all her important documents and some money. She found the way to the Indian Embassy and made a call to her father. Her parents were worried as they hadn’t heard from her for many days now. Amit was not telling them about her when they called her. His parents were also giving some weird reasons. Now that Amruta called and told them the whole story, they realized that Amruta was a very courageous woman and they were happy to know she was alive and they immediately arranged for her return to India. Amruta was relieved to come back to India, to her parents and friends, who welcomed her with an open heart and open hands. She never cried once after she left Amit and his house in Dallas. She had a sense of calmness on her face. She was much more matured now and knew what to do next. She searched for a job and was on her feet in 2 months, earning a decent salary and soon got back to a normal routine. She met with Subhash’s parents. They were happy to meet her, but not like this with a sad and tragic end of her marriage. They hadn’t even thought in their wildest dreams that Amit would turn out to be like this and that his parents would still get him married though they were aware of their son’s misgivings. They wanted her to be happy; it was not possible with their son, so they thought at least someone else would be there for her to take care of her. She was a very nice girl. But then all things in her life were not good. This was her second and hopefully her last misfortune. Thinking of Amruta makes me shudder and ponder. We all want to lead a normal and hassle-free life, don’t we? From where does this strength come in us when we face problems? How can someone be so focussed and fine when he/she knows that she has been cheated twice by the so-called god or whoever has carved her destiny? What is that power, is it always within us which shines only in cases of adversities or it is again given to us by God or the super-power to deal with things at that particular moment? Amruta was a normal girl, she had her dreams, she had her hopes. But her world came crashing down with the death of Subhash. She thought that she had found her soul mate in Amit, but then again it was not meant to be. Perhaps Subhash was the only person who would have kept her happy. But then his life was also short and had only that much part to play in her life. Her parents and his parents were just mute spectators and couldn’t do much to make Amruta happy with someone who would be her husband, a friend, and a partner. Amruta now leads a sedentary life with her parents to take care of. She has now accepted that she is meant to lead her life alone, with no love of a partner or a husband. She hopes of adopting a baby girl sometime in the future and give her all the love and affection which she would give her own child. She is not bogged down by the absence of a partner in her life. She carries on with the daily chores and prefers to talk less about whatever happened in her life. She still visits Subhash’s parents and has helped in getting his brother a nice bride. They all live like one big family. Her parents have accepted the fact that their daughter does not have it in her destiny to get settled with a partner. They encourage her in whatever she is doing and they are with her in all walks of her life. Parents are always the “rocks” in our lives and hadn’t they been in Amruta’s life to guide her and support her, Amruta’s story would have been a very different one. They now no longer pester her to search for a life partner. 

Once bitten, twice shy..